So…did I tempt you enough with my early years that you’ve come back for more??? I mean, I know my life isn’t “made for tv movie” awesome, but I think it’s fairly exciting. And with that, it is now time to embark on the most captivating phase of my life- the adult years….
Like I said before, I was a good kid right up until I went to college. And ironically it was a Bible college I attended where my path to become the prodigal son began. No better place to screw up your life than around a bunch of Christians, am I right?
The unspoken motto at my college was “Ring by spring or your money back.” I had a friend get engaged every year I was at school. EVERY YEAR. So needless to say, the pressure to snag a mate was huge. Within my first two months at school I had scored a boyfriend and was living the Christian college dream-or so I thought. I was in student leadership, on the cheer squad, and had a boyfriend on the basketball team. My school was only 300 kids, so everyone knew my name, and I thought it was awesome.
My boyfriend was a newer believer and had also come from a rough past. Because of this, my parents felt like he wasn’t a good fit for me and were not supportive of us dating. Being strong willed, I didn’t listen to them, and thus spent the year not having a relationship with my family. I got very serious very fast with my boyfriend, and we began to talk about marriage (I was only 18). As the old story goes: two years, many tears, and several terrible decisions later, that relationship ended. You’d have thought I learned my lesson.
The summer before my senior year in college brought new hope and a new relationship. This guy was completely different from my previous boyfriend in every way. He was a strong believer, student leader, worship pastor at his church, and all the things mommy and daddy love in guy. But again, we moved too fast too soon, and before I knew it, I was making the same mistakes I did with the last guy. A year and a half later, that relationship also ended.
In the midst of all of this I had developed a wonderful (sarcasm) way of coping with all of this by not eating. From the beginning of my freshman year of college until two years after I graduated (six total) I fought being anorexic. I have never wounded myself or my family as much as I did when I made them walk through those rollercoaster years with me.
Eventually, I got my life back together and found a passion working in music. It lead me to Nashville and a fresh start. But old habits die hard and I found myself once again dating a guy, giving up my world and my convictions all over again. That happened twice before Jeff, my husband, came along. And in the midst of it all, my father passed away suddenly from a heart attack, leaving me angry and confused with God.
Jeff and I began dating, and well, the rest is history as they say. But not really. There are still hurts. There are still scars from my past that haunt and wound me and even Jeff to this day. There is still more to my story. There is more for me to learn and to grow from. More for me to succeed and certainly fail from. And hopefully, you and I can take that journey together. Sharing life. Sharing our hurts and joy- and reminding ourselves that God has so much more for us than we can even begin to see. I’m ready to find all that out. Are you?