Faith, Fear, God, Identity, Spiritual Life

When I Grow Up

July 15, 2015

kels (63 of 165)When you’re little, everyone asks you what you want to be when you grow up.

You say things like…
A vet.
A gymnast.
A princess.
Or whatever mommy does because she’s the coolest person ever.

Now everyone knows what kind of toys to buy you for Christmas and what the theme of your birthday party will most likely be. Because that’s all that matters when you’re 5.

Then you reach high school, and you’re expected to be more specific and realistic and map out life after graduation, even though that’s so. far. away.

So you say things like…
A journalist.
A marine biologist.
A chef.
Or a reality tv star, because if Snooki can get rich quick that way, so can you.

Now you’re going to change your mind 37 times because no one seems to understand that you can’t decide what you want to eat for lunch, much less what you want to do with the rest of your life.

Then one day you wake up, and all of a sudden you’re 22 and you have no idea where your life is headed.

That’s exactly where I found myself a few months ago. The day I thought would never come…came.

Adulthood sprung up on me, and despite all the preparation, I wasn’t ready for it.

I was living with my parents with no rent and no real responsibilities. I was settling for a part-time job and putting my dreams and goals on hold. I knew I wanted to be in ministry. But when it came down to picking a path, I realized that’s a very broad area of interest, and I didn’t know how to narrow it down. So I stayed stuck.

Until God said, “Move to Nashville.”


On one hand, I was STOKED. I love Nashville. There’s just something about the area that has always made me feel (dare I say) at home. And I’m all for adventure and travel, so in theory, it sounded like a great idea to me!

But on the other hand, I was extremely confused. Because that’s all God gave me. Just a destination. He left the rest of the details completely unknown. Like where I would live, how I would support myself, and what my purpose there would be.

Despite my confusion and questions, though, I had this insane amount of peace and confidence that one way or another, Nashville was where I was supposed to be.

So I did it. Less than a week ago, I packed up my life and I made the long one-way trip to Tennessee. God provided temporary living arrangements…but I still need a place of my own. He provided a part-time job…but now I’m going to have bills and just a few hours a week isn’t going to cut it anymore.

So now I’m apartment hunting.
And job searching.
Trying to meet people.
Looking for a church.
Making a life of my own.
As an adult.
And I don’t have a CLUE what I’m doing.

It’s scary.
It’s intimidating.
It’s overwhelming.

Man, if you only knew the amount of tears I’ve cried this week, over goodbyes and finances and confusing circumstances and just not knowing.

And in all of that the only thing I can do is run to Jesus.

It’s in these weak, vulnerable moments with Him that I hear His truth so loud and clear.

So I want to invite you into the pages of my journal, into a conversation I had with God recently that started with questions and doubts and ended with a renewed confidence:

It’s times like these, when You’ve taken me out of my comfort zone, when I have to decide…do I still trust You? Do I still believe You are who You say You are – Provider, Protector, Comforter, Father? Can I still cling to Your promises? Are You still bigger than my problems?

Yes. The answer to all of that is Yes. I know You have brought me here for a reason. You will never leave me or fail me (Deut. 31:6). Your ways are higher than my ways and Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). I don’t understand any of this right now, and it scares me. I hate not knowing. I’m so uncomfortable with not knowing. But I’m not supposed to know everything. All I need to know is that You are good. And that You have plans to prosper me, not to harm me – to give me a hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). You have promised me this. You never promised me an easy transition or all of the answers. You only promised to love me, and that is enough.

I’m 22 and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. And that’s okay. I don’t need to know. My calling right now is just to be obedient one day at a time. And I know I’m not the only one. Whether you’ve just entered high school, graduated college, or are in between jobs, you’re probably faced with a lot of the same questions, and maybe a lot is still unknown. But remember who is in control of it all. He has a purpose for the season He has you in. There are lessons to be learned and preparations to be made before we can enter into new, bigger, more exciting seasons. It’s a process. But the journey is important and worth it. The journey thus far has made you who you are right now. And the journey ahead will make you who you’re meant to be.

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  • Alexia July 15, 2015 at 11:12 am

    Hi Chelsea.
    I’m 22 as well and the same thing happened to me several months ago.
    I was leaving in Bordeaux, France, where I had been leaving my entire life. And all of a sudden God made happen many (traumatising) things in my life and told me to abandon everything I had to go in the Paris area. Now I live there for months and I hate it of course but even though it was difficult, I have learned so much.
    Here’s a little article on my blog where I talk about what has changed in my life.
    I still have a lot to learn and I really need to get closer to God which is hard for me. And this period of uncertainty in my life is not over yet, now I need to move to another city in France, a city I don’t know at all and where I know nobody, to study (even though I planned to start working because I hate to study) theology just because God decided it.
    And I decided very recently that to give up all my dreams and I don’t care about my future job because there is so much more important. Life isn’t about me.
    So I really encourage you, it is hard but God knows what he’s doing and why he is doing it. I’m gonna pray for you but I think you’re gonna be just fine as long as you still talk to Jesus all the time and dig deep in his word.

    • agirlikeme
      agirlikeme July 18, 2015 at 1:39 pm

      You are so right. It sounds like you’ve been on a wild journey that’s not over yet, and though it hasn’t always been easy or what you’ve wanted, your obedience does not go unnoticed. God’s preparing you for something big through all of this, and these steps you’ve taken are just the beginning! Praying for you girl.

  • Desiree July 15, 2015 at 11:25 am

    Great post! I’m nearly 27 (Tomorrow actually) and still not sure what to do in life, I still live with me parents I want to get my own place but with a part time job and feeling nervous to move out I am just stuck. Thank you for this post today!
    Praying for you and your new adventure, Chelsea!

    • agirlikeme
      agirlikeme July 18, 2015 at 1:30 pm

      I guess my response to Michelle applies to you as well! Don’t think – just move. Praying you find the courage to jump into a crazy adventure with God!

  • Heidi July 15, 2015 at 1:37 pm

    I can definitely relate,March 2014 just 2 months after I became a Christian,I picked up&moved to a new province in Canada,where I knew no one. Over a year later I’m still here. I have a church family,place to live with flexible rent,cause I’m working a part-time job.(I thought God would provide the full-time job-instead he provided amazing living arrangements!.) I’m working no where near the area I went to school for-but my job is great &cleaves me time to pour into young adults lives(I’m 27). It’s scary being somewhere new,on your own-but its true Jesus is there every step of the way!!&even if it doesn’t turn out as planned or hoped-God is faithful. Praying for you Chelsea-you are on a great adventure!thank you for being open and honest about your fears-you are definitely not alone in this stage of life or this adventure.

    • agirlikeme
      agirlikeme July 18, 2015 at 1:27 pm

      It’s always cool to me to see how God answers prayers waaaay different than we expect, but it ends up being so much better than we ever could have planned ourselves. Your experience is definitely encouraging! Thanks for sharing!

  • Rebekah July 15, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    Absolutely love this. I am (and have been) walking in very similar circumstances lately. I love knowing that Jesus is with me, loves me, and won’t leave me hanging.

  • A Worn Girl July 15, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    WOW. I will be praying for you Chelsea! That’s a huge leap and such an inspiration!!

  • Michelle July 15, 2015 at 6:27 pm

    I was just talking with a friend yesterday about people who get up and move and I said, “Props to them, because man, that takes guts.” But maybe it just takes trust. Yesterday and this morning I was thinking, “Do I really–REALLY–trust God? Or do I just say I do?” And I also realized I’ve been in my comfort zone for a while now. I haven’t been outside of this box for a while. And even through a TAN song God seemed to say to me: “Let it go. Life is waiting for you to lose control. I will be *everything you need*. TRUST that I AM enough.
    I’ve been in what seems like in-between for a while, trying to grow up but not wanting the responsibilities of it; so I stay stuck. I’m ready to trust God. For Him to lead me where my trust is without borders.

    • agirlikeme
      agirlikeme July 18, 2015 at 1:22 pm

      The BEST piece of advice I’ve had in this season came from a complete stranger who had no idea where I was in my life. He said, “Don’t think; just move.” At that exact time I was WAY overthinking things, wanting to know the details and wondering if I was ready. I had to shut that part down, trust what God had told me, and just go. It’s definitely a big faith builder! Praying for you to see opportunities God is giving you to step out of your comfort zone and trust Him completely.

  • Brittany July 16, 2015 at 10:25 am

    At 26, that’s exactly what happened to me. I heard God tell me to move to Nashville. I had housing and job interviews lined up for my first day in Nashville, but no idea what I was doing in Nashville. Now 2 years later, it was the best thing I could have done and without just taking that step, I never would have found the job I have or the church I attend that I love. I still wonder why I am here, but it’s been fun to see the puzzle pieces slowly fill in.

  • Katrina July 17, 2015 at 11:21 am

    I’m 22 too, and I thought I was reading the pages off my own notebook. Thank you for this. And God bless you on your own journey. He goes before you.

  • Rachel July 19, 2015 at 11:24 pm

    Wow!! I didn’t know it’s not just high school students who go through this! I just graduated high school and all my friends seem to know what they want to do and where their lives are going.. And then there’s me changing my mind. Again. Your comment about not being able to decide what I want for lunch, let alone a career for a lifetime made me smile. :) Thank you, Chelsea. A lot. I needed that reminder to trust God. I’ll definitely pray for you. And, though overwhelming, it sounds like God’s got you headed somewhere/thing exciting. 😀

    • agirlikeme
      agirlikeme July 22, 2015 at 3:58 pm

      I don’t know if college is part of your plans now that you’ve graduated, but if it is, something you may want to consider is going in with an undeclared major. I had a few friends who, like you, didn’t really know what they wanted to do, so for the first year without a major, they were able to just take a bunch of gen ed classes. They would have had to take those classes anyway even if they had declared a major, but they would have been a little more spread out. Doing it this way allowed them to spend that year exploring potential majors through meeting professors and students in different areas. Some discovered they really liked one of their gen ed classes more than they’d expected and chose to dive deeper into that major. So…just a thought! You’re never going to have it all figured out. But in His timing, God will reveal to you the things you’re most passionate about that maybe you haven’t realized, passions He placed in you for a beautiful purpose. Best of luck! This is only the beginning!

  • Alicia July 23, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    This is exactly my story. 22 and clueless, moving across the country to Joplin, MO (not even the glamorous Nashville ;)) to live on my own for the first time in just a few short weeks. I’m completely terrified yet uncontrollably excited. God provides and it is amazing to see the way he is working this out for me and it sounds like for you as well.

    • agirlikeme
      agirlikeme July 25, 2015 at 2:25 pm

      Wow, that’s awesome girl! Good luck!! Enjoy the journey :)