Yeah, no pressure.
At that point, if I could finish my homework before 2am and wash my hair a couple times a week, I felt like success.
The assignment came with few restrictions besides making the financials work and being realistic. My classmates and I were living on a farm together so the different business plans ranged from growing the ingredients for beer and starting a local brewery to moving to Ecuador to start a dairy farm to help build communities.
My plan was simple. Or so I thought. My dream included growing food and flowers to serve an onsite event venue for banquets, weddings, and gatherings of any sort. Sounds cool, huh? Well, starting something like that takes a huge amount of money, so the job search began. I worked on a few farms and loved the atmosphere but was curious about that hospitality factor of having people come to a farm for events.
But let’s face it. Job hunting = BORING. Waiting is BORING. I’m SO BAD at waiting. Like, I would rather dig a hole to the center of the earth with an ice cream scooper than wait in my cozy little house for the answer to a question I’m asking God. Should I start my own business? How long should I be on the road? Is that God’s voice or my obnoxious hormones speaking? When should we think about babies? (Mom, I know you’re reading this. Don’t get excited. Seriously.) Oh gosh, can I farm when I’m pregnant?
And ah-ha! A few months ago, I started working at Homestead Manor. The front of the property is a Civil-War era home converted into a restaurant and a massive event barn where weddings, meetings, and receptions of all kinds fill the space every weekend. Down the path you’ll find the farm that serves the restaurant with fresh veggies and wild berries. I am a farmer there and between the few of us on the crew, we grow two acres intensely and organically. The property is a dream and the land is stunning.
So the place isn’t “mine”, but it’s literally exactly that business plan that I wrote a few years ago.
But surprise surprise, somehow my dream job is not “satisfying”. It’s not enough. I still get frustrated and sometimes I want to quit. Tennessee summer heat is like trying to survive a frying pan. I sweat all day and the other day, one of the guys said he could feel his brain cooking. We don’t get everything done and we are assigned tasks we don’t want. Trust me, it would be great to make more dollars per hour. The kitchen wastes some of the food we grow and sometimes the chefs are overwhelmed.
I don’t say this to discourage you from following your dream, but rather the opposite. Girl, if you feel an itch in your heart to go somewhere or do something, put on those old running shoes that have taken you this far already, and go for it. Sprint so hard you feel like you’re going to fly. If a fire strikes in front of you but you feel God still tugging your heart, put your hair in a high pony and pray it doesn’t burst into flames on your way through it.
And when you stop to take a breath and a break and maybe find yourself somewhere closer to where you wanted to be, maybe you’re already there. Expect some hallelujahs and so much imperfection. Expect tears and happy dances and to do lists. Expect to need rest but don’t expect satisfaction in the dream itself. It’s just the glory of God inside of whatever you’re dreaming of and His presence in the little moments that will really last a lifetime.
There is this insatiable quest inside each of us – for the more beautiful view, for the deeper love, for the wilder adventures, for the quickened heartbeat. This exists because we were made by God to be with Him. He is infinity in every way. He created these views that take your breath away. He created your heart that races with excitement and nothing on earth here and now really can satisfy the longing until heaven. So girl, chase that dream. And if you don’t have clarity on what it is yet, find the hints of heaven that are already around you. And when you love something, love it with all you’ve got.