Lately it feels like I have been struggling through life. I am taking each day, one at a time. The past couple years have been so much fun for me, and honestly, it’s been pretty easy, not many struggles to tackle. But I have entered a new and exciting stage of life, but it’s not at all easy and it hasn’t been fun yet. You may have heard that I am pregnant(!!!) and have been for the last few months which is so exciting and I am so thankful, but so far I have not enjoyed pregnancy. And honestly, being pregnant has made me miserable in many ways. I daydream all the time about holding sweet baby Creagh and I cannot wait to be a mom,but I really cannot wait for him or her to be out of my body at the end of March.
I have been sick 24/7 since August 1. I thought by the time I had to write this post, my sickness would be lifted, but nope, it’s still here. I also started a new job in a new industry the week I got pregnant (oops) and I’ve had to work through it being sick. At times, I’ve been lonely, depressed, super anxious (thanks, hormones). It’s been really frustrated that there is nothing I can really do to control what’s going on in my life right now. I have questioned God’s timing. I have doubted God’s blessings. And I have felt so much guilt from not being able to help others more during this time and not being happy about the process when I know this is a gift.
So I know the majority of you are probably not pregnant right now but if you look back at those last few sentences I think so many of you can relate to how I’ve been feeling. These feelings, emotions, thoughts, doubts, and fears are reoccurring through life. I have experienced basically everything I’ve been feeling before in different circumstances and intensities. Nobody’s life is perfect and everyone experiences hard times, not always in the same way but no one is alone in the emotions, insecurities and doubts that each of us experiences.
I have been a Christian almost my entire life. I know God is there and I know that he is for my good. I’ve seen how in all things, he has worked it out for my good. Do I always feel it in the moment though? No. and that is also normal. It’s called being human.
So here is my counsel to you and to myself whether you’re a struggling through a difficult, dry time right now or for the next hard time you experience…
Run to your friends who you know will encourage you and point you back to God and his truth. Thankfully I am seeing the light and hope now. I am happier than I was a month ago for sure, but I know it’s because God is answering my prayer through the encouragement of my friends. When I feel like being by myself all week because I’m stuck in a darker place, God reminds me to call on a friend who can encourage me to remember God’s blessings in my life and remember the fun that He wants us to experience in life. My community and my deep, God-loving friends are one of the best gifts I have ever given on this earth. God created us to thrive when we are surrounded by people who love us and love God.
I will say too, I have been through stages of life that I haven’t had God-loving friends around me. When I was in high school, I felt alone because I didn’t have friends at school who loved me for me because they had a relationship with God. So, I prayed every night for friends and of course, God answered my prayer because He wants that for us as well. Sometimes he does allow you to go through times like that, but it’s because He wants to help you see that those types of friendships are a pure gift from Him. We do nothing to deserve that. It’s because God is good and He loves to give his children good good gifts. And like my grandmother has told me, to have a friend, you have to be a friend.
Thank you for allowing me to pour into your lives these past couple years, my dear girls. You are so loved by each one of the AGLM writers. We are only a few clicks away :).