I'm a Catholic junior high volleyball coach & Bible study leader to my team. Several weeks ago, I had a 12 year old team member come forward about being raped by a 17 yr old boy. It occurred over summer vacation and she finally courageously came forward in early November. I'm numb. I know she needs me, desperately, because her mother is a homeless, drug addict, which is so very sad & heart-breaking for my student. No matter how desperately I'm clinging to the Lord God, I feel I can't allow myself to be close to this young girl because of her obsessive personality... I'm frustrated with myself for refusing to help her more than just turning her rapist into the authorities (against her wishes) & getting her into counseling. I keep myself at a distance knowing this poor, desperate child needs me, but also knowing I can't trust her with my cell phone number or personal life. I'm also limited by my job w/ the school. To add to this girl's trauma, one of our team captains came forward last week & told me this girl's father is also physically abusing her at home. I feel disconnected, sick, powerless & so very ashamed for not fighting for her the way I promised her I would! I feel emotionally paralyzed & don't know which direction to go, but for continuously looking up and BEGGING God for a solution to my strained relationship with her. I'm trying to be as supportive to her as I can, without betraying the Holy Spirit telling me to keep a safe distance from this child...

Posted in: Relationships on December 15, 2014

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  • December 23, 2014

    Ps- love what you're doing for that Catholic school!

  • December 23, 2014

    I think finding a way to get her into counseling is a HUGE step towards helping her. If there is still abuse happening they're trained and required to combat it or get her out (I'm a social work major ;) ). Hard stuff...prayers for you both!

  • December 17, 2014

    I don't know this girl as well as you, but I would say if God is continually pressing your heart to help her, take the risk and reach out to her. Maybe her obsessive personality is due to the abuse. Maybe she just needs to know that someone can genuinely love her with no strings attached.

    Walking in pain with someone is not easy. It's never meant to be. It means sacrificing our own comfort to serve another. It is actually the most uncomfortable thing to do. But it is also the most rewarding.

    There is a book called The Wounded Heart by Dan Allendar. It is a great book on healing from sexual abuse. I'd get it for her and you. I'd have you both read it and maybe set up a boundary of finding one day a week you two could talk about it. If for anything, it will help you to read the book so that you can see her world from her eyes.

    Keep us posted if there is anything we can do.

    -AGLM Team