I have asked for prayer once before about a month ago for prayers for me and my family. And a lot has happened since then. Unfortunately none of it good. My grandmother, whom I have been extremely close with since i was born and I share a birthday with, has weeks to live. She has cancer and is terminal. She will not live till Christmas. She will not see New Years, or my senior trip, or my graduation, or my eighteenth birthday next year. She will not see my cousins first birthdays, or their first trip to Disney world. The will not even remember her, or the amazing woman she is. It could be harder, we do know and have always known where she is going when she dies. But having just given her the news on Monday is very difficult right now. She is in alit of pain and life is just a struggle right now. I am beyond devastated and other than that I just feel numb. I'm not angry with God, I have never once doubted him or lost faith in him. But the more I pray about it the more I know this is real. I do have a certain peace in my heart with that. But at the same time I'm selfish and I want to keep her here with me. Idk what I'm going to do, let alone what my poor mother is going to do. On top of this my birth father has caused a huge ruckus, and so has his wife. I went to spend the weekend with them and my one year old sister for Halloween, they live six hours away. And my stepmother(who I've always had issues with because for some reason she hates me), kicked me out at 9:30 pm. Thankfully my grandmother was there and took me home with her and kept me for the next day until she brought me home to my mom and she and my mother both were wonderfully comforting through that. But it's hard to be ok when my stepmother has said I'll never see my sister again, and since then I haven't. They haven't even spoken to me. She has removed me from Facebook so I can't see pictures of my sister either. And I just don't understand what's going on in my life. Everything is falling apart and I just don't know what to do. I feel so stuck. And I don't even know what to pray for, guidance? Peace? Healing? Relief? I don't know. I just I don't know how to handle any of this and i just I don't know what to do.
Posted in: Other on November 28, 2015