Hey all...just graduated from college and attempting to navigate life in the "real world". I'm struggling in the area of friendships right now. It's been a difficult year seeing some of my closest friendships slowly start to fade. One of my closest friends got married last summer and lives in another state now, another just got a new job (in a different state as well), another is leaving for seminary on the other side of the country soon, and on and on it seems. I find myself...well, wallowing in myself...and missing these friends so much. I think it's okay and normal to be sad about these friendships changing, especially in this stage of life, but it's way too easy to just feel sorry for myself and isolate myself from others. Please pray that I would fight these pity parties, as well as being intentional about reaching out to these friends still, and reaching out to others I don't know well who are around me right now. I need an extra push and encouragement in this area right now. Thanks!

Posted in: Relationships on March 29, 2015

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  • April 22, 2015

    Hey.
    I completely understand having friend troubles. I have always struggles with having friends and the ones that I have, always leaving for one reason or another. Maybe with your friends who are moving, you could try skyping instead of that person coming over. Skype is awesome, and something I use VERY often to keep in touch with long distance and even short distance friends. It is also COMPLETELY fine to be sad and crushed about friends leaving. The hard part is moving past your sadness, and putting yourself out there and making new friends. That can be very hard! I will be praying for you tons!! Don't give up!! It will eventually all work out, I'm sure:)
    -- Hannah

  • April 5, 2015

    Hey. Wow. New seasons can be tough. I understand. I went to a college in a different state, then moved to another state after graduating college, then moved to ANOTHER state after that. All the while you are trying to keep up with your relationships and friends that you have made along the way. It can seem daunting and at one point I found myself working so hard to keep ties with everyone living all over the country, and trying to keep up because one, they were my friends and I wanted that normalcy, and two, there was a feeling of obligation to keep being intentional. While I do believe we have to be intentional and put effort into relationships...there is definitely a balance and a new way of holding things loosely when you go through those seasons of shifting locations and newness in everyone's lives. As time goes you will begin to figure out who the friends are that really are lifelong friends...the ones you may not even talk to for six months but when you do you somehow just pick right up as if no time has gone by...the ones who just know how to be there when the going gets tough. And then you will notice some of those friends who were there for a season. They are still important for that season they were there...and may even come back in in a later season, but may not be as present right now (you may be this friends as well to others). The biggest hurdle I had to work on was being present where you are. Not taking so much time trying to keep up with everyone that you miss out on connecting in the new now, meeting new people, getting involved where God has YOU. It's great being there for friends and holding on to special relationships, but those can also be used to keep you from great things God has in store for you. It's never an easy process, but it is a necessary one....the weeding out, testing new ways of communicating with old friends and seeking out new friends who are in the here and now. Diving into new ventures, jobs, volunteer opportunities...knowing that it may mean letting go of time keeping up with everyone. But by jumping in to things you love to do...by taking this time as an opportunity to get to know yourself more, to grow and explore and enjoy one of the most precious seasons in life....you will find yourself with less time for self-pity over missing the ones who have gone on to new things...and discover that you too have done the same. A lot of those friends may come back with more force later...some may not...but I've learned that sometimes it's the people you least expect who end up being the dearest friends during those hard transitions...and seeing the others who have "faded" not as a bad or neglectful, but simply in different seasons for the time being. Don't let other people's moving on to new adventures stop you from also finding your adventures. Especially if you are single. Those are some of the biggest times of growth in my life, best times of discovering who I was aside from everyone around me...which has also made for a stronger marriage as a more identified wife. Hang in there....with growth there is always heartache...but don't forget to live the adventure in the midst of it.
    ~Kelsey AGLM