Faith, God, Relationships

The Waiting

May 20, 2015
kels (147 of 165)

It’s time for a good ol’ girl-talk confession: I have never done relationships right. To the point where they’ve mostly all just been “flirtationships” that never became real relationships. I was always the go-getter, the chaser, the pursuer, the queen of DTR, being the first to ask the question of “where is this going” after just a couple weeks. I probably came off pretty desperate. And maybe I was. After watching guy after guy pull away after only just starting to get to know me, you can imagine how unwanted I felt. I thought something was wrong with me. And over the course of the next couple years I found out there was. It wasn’t that I wasn’t pretty enough or smart enough or funny enough…too tall, too loud, too dramatic. I wasn’t “too much” or “not enough”. The problem was my impatience. My thought process went something like this: I see boy. I like boy. Boy has texted me for 3 days. Boy must like me. “Boy, do you like me?” “I just want to be friends.” *Crushed* Oy. If I could just go back and talk to me then… So you get the picture. You could have handed

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Faith, God, Spiritual Life, Uncategorized

Discipline of Faith

May 14, 2015
AGLM (99 of 1)

  I got on this morning excited to see what was written on the blog and didn’t see a post and the thought that…”oh no, I hope I didn’t get my weeks mixed up” hit hard. Sure enough it was my week to write and I messed up.  The funny thing about it is that I want so badly to show you my best. It weighed on me all day. I felt terrible.  I hated being the one who slacked, who was’t as committed. The one who didn’t think to double check her dates. Since I goofed and was not prepared I’m going to be really really honest with you guys…is that ok? Ok good. Today has been hard. Right now is hard. I went into my evening ready to sit down and write to you some sort of well thought through wisdom and my internet decided to stop working again. My husband and I somehow got into a big fight. I then cried in public at dinner because the exhaustion just couldn’t be held in anymore. Then I had that sickening moment…you know the one…where your face is red and puffy, your nose is stuffy from crying, you can’t

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God, Spiritual Life

on going through the hard places

May 6, 2015

As a feeler, and justice seeker, and writer I desperately long for things to have meaning. I have a deep desire to do work that matters, to write honestly, and talk about the hard things… requiring me, to actually go through the hard things. But not just go through the motions of the hard things, actually. go. through. them. Intentionally and with purpose… with expectation- like someone who has been promised something more. If I’m being honest with you, I haven’t been going through through my hard things lately. I am at that place The exhausted place The long list place The poured out place The kind of poured out people can see on your face- but they don’t ask about because the look both demands to be acknowledged but begs to be left alone. That place where one more thing becomes just another thing and that one more thing doesn’t mean anything. The hard place. I haven’t opened my journal in over three months- for fear of what I might put in writing. I haven’t paused at the end of my prayers just to listen- for fear of what I might hear. And I haven’t read the story of Job

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Faith, Identity

Who I Want To Be Or Who I’m Gonna Be

April 29, 2015
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  When I was five, we were asked to share what we wanted to be when we grew up at our kindergarten graduation. Me, with frizzy big hair and my semi-toothless grin proudly stated that I was going to be an artist. The confidence in which I conveyed this dream would have left anyone feeling certain I was about to be the next Picasso. In fourth grade, I was once again asked to write an essay about who I wanted to be when I grew up. This time, I said an archeologist. I wrote of my vision to travel around the world discovering and naming new dinosaurs and foreign tribes, putting myself into the history books of tomorrow. It was quite the inspirational essay if I do say so myself. In high school we were encouraged to select electives that would prepare us for hat we wanted to study in college. Seeing as I now wanted to be a nurse, I took anatomy and physical science. I was going to work with babies, maybe even do medical missions. I was a woman with a dream. Here I am at age 33 and I am neither an artist, archeologist or a nurse. I never

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Faith, God, Redemption, Spiritual Life

I am Praying for You

April 22, 2015
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If you’ve ever left a comment on the Community Board, emailed us, or reached out in any other way, we’ve probably told you that the writers of AGLM are praying for you. And if you’ve never been told that, I’m telling you right now: we are praying for you! We believe prayer is a necessary and powerful time with God. Since we are mostly an online community, we don’t get the opportunity to sit next to you, hold hands with you, and reach out to God with you in prayer in person. So we say that we are praying for you- which we are- but I wanted to use this post to write it out for you. I am excited to get to know each of you more, and I know this post isn’t about me, but it’s about my heart for you. Has anyone prayed over you before? Maybe your answer is no. Maybe you’ve been prayed over 1,000 times. Either way, put your name in this prayer and know that we are for you because Jesus is for you. Read this prayer over a friend too! Let this prayer be a battle cry for when you feel anything

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Identity, Uncategorized

I am a Memory Maker

April 15, 2015
aglmblog3 (7 of 1)

I am a photographer, journaler, doodler, sentimental keepsake keeper. I have a box of journals dating back to my childhood, the pages filled with all the little and big life moments I deemed important. I kept notes and letters from friends and family, I have loads of photos and each one has a story I could tell to go with it. My childhood best friend and I went on a little getaway while I was in Colorado and spent the evening reminiscing over old notes to each other (written with gel pens of course), giggling over our KidPix obsession, and going through old photos. They were all filled with stories and memories that were evidence of a God breathed friendship that even 10 years apart couldn’t sever. I’m just sentimental to the point of probably keeping way more than I should, but I love stories. My stories and other’s stories.  I love remembering. Not dwelling on things but remembering how important this story is that God is writing. I love to capture moments. I am a reminiscer. Oftentimes I wonder if my passions and love for these things is bad. I hang out with my minimalist friends and fight the panic

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Faith, God, Identity, Spiritual Life

I Am Average

April 8, 2015
kels (144 of 165)

As I was preparing what to write for our “Who Am I” series, to be really honest with you (which my goal is to always be honest with you), I really struggled to tell you who I am. I know that I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a student, a chocolate lover, a social butterfly, a coffee drinker, But as I looked at my life I thought, I have nothing to catch people’s attention. It seemed easier for me to write what I’m not than what I am. I am not the girl who gets asked to model or be in their fashion blog. I am not the girl to ask for cooking tips. I haven’t started a creative or successful business. I am not a great writer. I don’t have fancy handwriting (and the calligraphy classes won’t help me). I am not athletic. I wasn’t popular in high school. I have nothing “spectacular” to put on my resume. And I definitely don’t have any secret or hidden talents. I am what the world would say is “average.” And again, as I am really honest with you, I can tell you that I have always struggled

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Faith, God, Identity, Spiritual Life

I Am A Navigator

April 1, 2015
o-WOMAN-DRIVING-facebook

  I’m a terrible driver. I know it’s a total cliche to say that, but seriously, I suck. I can’t parallel park, back up, or drive a stick shift. I drive way too fast, and I get distracted way too easily. (More often than not it’s by my phone which is a massive no, no I know) I’m the girl that could potentially be so lost in my own world that I’ll get home and have no idea how I even drove myself there. Let’s just say, I’m not going to be winning any awards in this category for, well, like ever. However, in the world of driving there is one thing I am excellent at: navigation. I am on point when it comes to directions. I can usually use directions once to get to a place, and from then on I’ll remember how to get there. I can read a map, and very rarely do I ever get lost. I am not one of those girls (cough, like my mom, cough) who somehow can only find her way by the landmarks around her. You know, like, turn left at the Burger King and then it’ll be just past the rock that looks

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God, Identity

I Am a Storyteller

March 25, 2015
kels (145 of 165)

For as long as I can remember I have had an affinity for words. Not just individual words, like, “Today I discovered the word splendiferous and now I want to use it all the time in everyday conversation.” (Though I really did come across that recently and have since tried to use it every opportunity I get.) I’m more fascinated by what words can do when they are strategically ordered to form a song, a poem, a script, a prayer…heck, even a grocery list! But the power when those words become a story…now we’re talkin’. I used to be obsessed with reading. I could get lost in a good book for hours on end. When I was younger I could be very persuasive in having my bedtime extended because I simply couldn’t stop at chapter 25 when Harry was just about to face Voldemort in chapter 26! And if I had a dollar for every time I got caught in bed with my book light under the covers at midnight…let’s just say I wouldn’t have college debt to pay off right now. As I got older, my dad would always tell me I was going to be a horrible navigator

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Identity

I am an Anomaly

March 18, 2015
aglmpost (1 of 1)

I was the wild child. Not in the sense that I made terrible choices or lived recklessly, and I wasn’t the hyperactive kid…I was a wild spirit. I could day dream for hours and get completely lost in another reality.  I had my own sense of style and couldn’t be fit into any box, I was a girly girl who was covered in mud and wore pants under my dress. I owned Carhart coveralls and had forts in haylofts and then would get fancied up for dance recitals and tea parties. I’m even ambidextrious. I love good music but also have a weak spot for riding in the car with the windows down and some country or cheesy pop music blaring from the radio. I’m super OCD about very random things, I am very particular about how I clean and how I present things when staying at other people houses, but then I am a creative mess and have “organization” on my computer that makes no logical sense to anyone but the voice in my brain.  I hate going to sleep in a messy bed, so I make the bed before I go to sleep, but I rarely make it

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