Faith, Fear, God, Redemption, Spiritual Life

Decisions, Decisions

June 22, 2016

Decisions

I hate decision making.

Seriously, ask me where I want to go for dinner and the answer will almost always be “I don’t care.” And once we get wherever we eventually decide on, I need 10 minutes to look at the menu, and I still change my mind a dozen times before I finally order.

Give me the task of choosing a movie to watch, an ice cream flavor, what shoes go best with your outfit or what to name your goldfish and I will agonize over it.

And multiple choice on tests…don’t get me started. Even Buzzfeed quizzes give me anxiety.

…Have I mentioned I HATE making decisions?

I guess it all comes down to this fear that I’m going to make the wrong choice. I’m so afraid that whatever I choose, I’ll end up regretting it later. Yes, even the smallest, most seemingly-insignificant things. Somehow I still get hung up on which one is the “right” choice.

So as you can probably imagine, I reeeally don’t do well with big life decisions.

I think sometimes on the outside it looks easy.

Drop out of college to travel the country with a ministry? Sure! Move over 600 miles away from my family without a clue where I’m going to live or work? Psh, no big deal.

In reality, if anyone got ahold of my journals from around those times, you’d see that the journey leading up to those decisions was one big terrifying, complicated, confusing headache.

I recently had two job offers. At the same time. And I, of course, panicked.

Both were great places that I would be so happy to work for – great environments, great people, just all-around great opportunities! But that was not quite the answer to prayer I was looking for.

I need clear-cut direction. At least I think I do, anyway. I want to see one door open and the other one shut so that I know without a doubt which one I’m supposed to walk through. Better yet, I want big flashing arrows, neon signs, a yellow brick road and an “X” to mark the spot.

Two open doors with perfect little welcome mats doesn’t help my decision making.

I wrestled with it for a while. I prayed so hard about which was the right job, but I felt like God was giving me the silent treatment. I went back and forth all day with the pros and cons of each, but kept coming up with the same answer – I couldn’t go wrong with either option.

But that was just it. I was so focused on which one was right that I couldn’t see that neither one was wrong. God had given me a choice, not to test me and see if I’d choose the right path, but to show me that sometimes there’s more than one right answer…and His will will be done either way, no matter which I choose.

I think maybe the deeper root of my fear is that I’m worried I’ll mess up God’s master plan for my life. Part of me seems to believe that I somehow have the power to ruin everything with just one wrong move.

But the truth is, if we’re loving, following and serving Christ, and if the options before us allow us to live within that calling, I don’t really think there can be a wrong choice. We just have to pick a path. Because no matter what we choose, God is in control.

And if somehow we do make the wrong choices, we serve a God who chooses redemption and who decides daily to craft beauty from our mistakes…and His decisions are never wrong.

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  • Casie June 22, 2016 at 9:48 am

    Chelsea, I know how you feel. I hate making decisions with picking where I want to eat, what flavor of ice cream and so forth as well. It does give me anxiety as well when figuring it all out. Sometimes God gives you a choice whether you least expected or not. Your fear of making a decision is exactly my fear as well. I am always afraid that I will mess up the plan God has given me. You are not alone in this, even when you choose wrong God will give you a small sign of where he wants you to go.

  • Kayla June 22, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    Chelsea thanks so much for sharing this I struggle with decision making also and I’m always afraid of making the wrong one so it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with this and to have a reminder that God is a loving redeeming God and even when we do mess up and make a wrong decision he will always forgive us and give us another chance

  • Meg Lyall June 22, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    Hey Chels!
    I relate to this so much, but it is so great to hear that there are others out there who have the same struggle. Thank you for this post, so much truth in this :) xx

  • Justme June 24, 2016 at 9:08 am

    I sooo needed this today, Thank you!!!!

  • Beloved June 24, 2016 at 9:36 pm

    This was awesome Chelsea, thank you. I feel the same way, although on a smaller level. Thank you for sharing! There’s a great quote that says
    “Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure it all out. Trust God. HE has a plan.”
    A plan to give us a hoe and future better than any we could decide for ourselves.

  • Leah June 28, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    This is a great post Chelsea! I am the same way! I’m so indecisive. The smallest decision is a headache for me! This post made it really clear to me that my indecision is deeply rooted in distrust of God’s sovereignty and a skewed view of control.
    Thanks for being honest and bold and reminding me to just rest in Him. I need these reminders that I’m not called to be perfect and in control– I’m simply called to follow my Lord whose decisions are always flawless. Thanks! <3

  • Amy July 17, 2016 at 4:35 pm

    Thanks for this blog post. I am often in the same mindset of needing a clear-cut path and way to go. It is refreshing to know that it doesn’t matter what direction we go, because God will always peruse and guide us in His will and the way he has planned for us. He alone is in control.