March 5, 2013 by A Girl Like Me
I’ve been putting off writing this post for a while. Partly because I’ve been busy, but mainly because I just don’t want to write it. I know that as a woman, we all long for relationship. However, I don’t want to belabor this idea that what we are all about as daughters of our King is nothing more than an moony-eyed girl pining over some boy who may or may not be our husband. Because we aren’t. BUT…in spite of knowing that, I do know that God has made us to ache for earthly connection and that connection is meant to reflect Him in the end. So walk with me, would you, as I try to take the jumbled, hesitant thoughts in my brain and help kick us off in this discussion of relationships in the light of the Lord’s grace and mercy.
Much like we discussed several months ago while talking about sex, it’s important for you to know that your desire as a woman to have companionship with a man under the covenant of marriage is a beautiful and God-given gift. Consider the beauty of the story of creation in Genesis. Here, God has perfectly crafted a world with more creativity and beauty than we could ever fathom. In His longing for relationship as God, he chooses to create Adam. Here’s the crazy part…Adam really was enough. God had a companion and had given Adam access to all the blessing and beauty God had to offer. Yet…and this is a big yet…in Genesis 2:18 we hear God say, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” And so God created woman. Eve. The perfect complement to Adam, and the part of God’s character that sees and feels deep within the desire for relationship.
So, let’s get it straight, the fact that since you were four years old you have been dreaming about the day you would be married is completely ok. God put that there. He put that piece of His heart that so longs for a mate inside you, allowing you as a woman to reflect that back into our world. I know a lot of books and sermons out there are going to tell you to not think about a husband or that your longing for one is bad. But I would disagree. If God himself saw that man should not be alone and then created us to fill that, I think it’s safe to say that He is ok with us acknowledging that desire within our hearts.
And here is where my heart begins to race a little…Your longing for a mate is beautiful and acceptable only when it thrives within the parameters of being an earthly representation of a heavenly covenant. Like anything, as Kelly wrote a few weeks back, if taking over our thoughts to the point where it becomes our ultimate, it becomes an idol. So no big surprise that one of the best gifts God has given us, can also be our greatest weakness in distancing ourselves from him.
You can want a husband. You can desire and long for it. But when you ache for nothing more than that, you are saying that a mate is the only possible means for you to find satisfaction in your life. And that kind of longing, no matter how well intentioned, is not what God had intended.
Our hearts were made for relationship, this we know. But as we move forward we need to begin to ask ourselves exactly how God wishes that desire to be used.