Allow Me to Introduce Myself.
41May 31, 2012 by agirlikemee
Why hello! So now that this is the Island of We…I figured I would introduce myself as the new member to this island. My name is Kelly Donehey. Wife, mother of two beautiful girls, and friend to the beautiful Heather Owen. When Heather told me that she was going to start this blog… my heart literally skipped a beat. I was so excited and, to be honest, a little jealous. I have such a heart for girls and felt like this new blog was such a brilliant idea to bring about honesty and vulnerability within. Of course I wanted to be a part of it. After much prayer, Heather and I decided that we both felt like God was calling me to join in on the conversations. Heather is amazing and after reading many of her entries I have even more respect for her and I am beyond honored to be apart of this. So thank you Heather.
Now a little about me. This could be an extremely long story so I will just give you some insight and some hard truth. I grew up in a Christian home near Ann Arbor Michigan. The typical Christian girl going to a christian school and raised in a baptist church. Everything was pretty much “picture perfect”. I started dating this guy my sophomore year of high school whom I was crazy about. He became my world and we had plans to get married right out of high school. However, he decided to join a cult that believed you had to be absolutely perfect in order to go to heaven. After a long time of arguing about the matter we broke up and that is when the downward slope of boy “addiction” began.
I was devastated and did not know how to handle my emotions so I did the only thing that made me feel somewhat better. Find another guy and find him fast. I immediately started dating someone and became so emotionally attached and co-dependent on him that my every happiness completely depended on how he would treat me. My whole value and worth was dependent on this relationship and I was so convinced that if it ever ended I would be lost and unhappy forever. We dated on and off for 5 years. My anxiety was always present and depression came on extremely fast. He started to drift away from me and I couldn’t accept it. I felt like life was over. There was a time when I was on anti depressants, in counseling once a week, I stopped eating, and my parents would find me sitting in a chair just staring at a wall for hours. I would cry and sleep. That’s it. The only thing I had time for was to date other guys and my goal was to have a guy like me at all times. That was the only thing that made me feel worth something.
It wasn’t until I moved to Florida that God began to wreck my world. He brought me to my knees and broke me in order to bring me back to Him. Someone once told me that I didn’t believe God loved me. What? Of course I do! But the more I listend to my heart the more I knew they were right. I knew God loved me. But I didn’t BELIEVE He loved me unconditionally. I always felt the need to perform or be a certain way to receive attention from guys. And without realizing it.. that is how I started to view my relationship with God. I felt like I needed to be so good, perfect even, to know that God’s love wasn’t going to leave me. Let me just tell you… it’s not easy to get to that point of truly believing that God will love you in spite of your sins and in spite of your struggles. I still battle it from time to time. But once you begin to truly believe in God’s love for YOU.. all of you… that is when you start to see that your value and your worth comes completely from the One you loves you more than you could possibly understand. And more than any other person on earth.
I could write a whole lot more… but just wanted to at least give you a little insight into me. I am messed up… I get jealous, angry, frustrated, insecure, annoyed, mean and still battle with performance…I am here to tell you I am not perfect. And yet I give praise to the Father in Heaven who knows my heart… knows my fears… knows my insecurities and yet loves me all the same. Loves me to the point of changing me even when it hurts. I pray that God will use me to encourage you. I pray that God will help you believe in His undying love for you. I will be honest and open and real with you. Know that you are not alone.
First off I’d like to welcome you aboard! This is going to be awesome!! I’m truely excited about you joining in and helping us out! Also thank you! No matter the scale we try to balance ourselves against others it always evens out that’s a had one to get over. Also miss Kelly I’m going to ask this question because I’m positive every girl is thinking it. What was oh my dear written about? I hope that was ok to ask if not you don’t have to answer
looking forward to hearing more from you both. God bless
Welcome!
I also grew up in a Christian school (I transferred in the middle of my sophomore year to a public school and am now a senior) and also grew up in a very strict baptist church and background. I’d love to hear your experience with Christian schooling sometime!
thank you so much! amazing just to think of his unfailing and boundless love!
i clearly needed to be reminded once again of his love for me, and all of us tonight!
-MaryJo (Honduras)
Thanks for joining the Island! I also grew up in a Christian home near Ann Arbor, Michigan! Crazy! I love reading the blogs and look forward to reading the upcoming entries! It is so encouraging to know that I am not alone in these struggles. Thank you so much for all you do and allow God to do through you!
Just wanted to say “welcome!” to Kelly, “thank you!” (again) to Heather for starting this blog, and “keep them coming!” to both of you.
I have been so encouraged by your writing. The recent blog about Moses really hit home and now reading your intro, Kelly, I feel like you were talking about me when you said about “knowing” God loves you but not believing that He loves you UNCONDITIONALLY. I live my life to please other people. I say certain things and act a certain way because I feel like that’s how they want me to be. I’ve been realizing this more and more lately. And, like you said, I think that’s how I view God too. I feel like I need to do certain things in order for Him to love me and, while I know that’s not the case, it’s hard to wrap my head around it and really let it sink down and change me. Please pray that it will though, because I honestly feel like it’s this huge ball and chain that I’ve been dragging around all my life and I long to be free from it.
Thanks Jessica! Really appreciate your encouragement and I’m so excited to see what God does through this blog. I know that it will be nothing of my own doing… but completely God working through me. Especially for someone like me who tends to care what people think. ha. I will definitely keep you in prayer. God made us to be relational and to desire relationships… however we tend to turn those relationships into idols of some sorts and its really hard to not loose our worth in them. At least thats how I feel. It definitely feels like it can be a ball and chain some times. A big weight… I know for me sometimes I have to choose to believe before I actually feel it. I know that sounds crazy but I would go throughout my day and just say to myself over and over… God loves me. He truly loves me. Even if I didn’t feel that way or believe it. I would pray for God to help my unbelief. And he does. Some days are harder than others… but I really believe when you go to the Father and ask for His help to display His unconditional love. He will. I pray for your heart along with mine that every day we would fight to believe. And fight to find rest in His grace.
God bless Kelly
That is so true Kelly! Welcome by the way
. It is really easy to let relationships of any sort become idols, I’ve also been struggling with that, but God is teaching me to put Him first. Thanks for your insight and for being willing to share your life with us 
. Have a great day!
Talitha
I actually have depression. it’s hardest thing to live with right now. after giving up my addiction of self-harm… it is one of the hardest thing i ever had to give up but somehow i did it. the urge to cut was hard and attempting to cut myself during the recovery process is was like the withdrawnl in a way… you want to cut yourself but you can’t because you made a promise that you wouldnt do this to yourself to anymore. after giving up the razor blades and couples of months later …i began to have negative thoughts… like beliving the fact i am an outcast and began to abuse drugs and got myself into destructive side effects of the drugs abuse. living with depression is one of the hardest stuggling i’m struggling with right now and of course with the drug abuse. beliving that i am an outcast and no one would care that i would die. sharing my story of how i gave up my razor blades to other people made me realized that im not alone. a lot of teens are struggling with self harm. having tattoos reminding me that “I am more than an cutter” got me through. i have old scars that remind me of my abusive home life and painful memories. it does not define me but beliving that im an outcast and no one would care that if i die and having depression is one of the hardest struggles right now. but about 16 days away i get to feel accomplised and i get to feel grace, happiness, mercy, healing, redempation for being free of self harm for one year. i get to celebrate my one year anniversary of self harm at the same christian festival where i gave up my razor blades. just for once… i get to feel that happiness. i can imagine that God would tell me
Well done, my child, Well done when June 17th gets here. So pray for me to God that i would be careful in my struggling of depression, drug abuse and negative thoughts. if you can pray for that for me… i would be graceful.
Praying for you! Deuteronomy 31:8, Psalms 32:10, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Oh girl my heart hurts for you. I have never cut myself but Mike and I have a roommate living with us who was a cutter for many many years. Her’s stemmed from being sexually abused when she was younger. She has the scars… but they now only remind her of her redemption in Christ. God is proud of you today! Did you know that? Not just on the 17th… God is inside of you… He knows your heart… He knows your struggles and exactly how you feel… and in the midst of the pain you have physically fought against cutting and He is proud of you right now!! Yes… June 17th will be a day to celebrate…It’s so great that you have held off from harming yourself this long. But the 17th is not the end. You don’t have to leave happiness at the door when the next day approaches. You can choose to be thankful today. For God’s grace, His undying love, the way He is smiling on you right now. He is not a God who waits for you to mess up again. We all have our vices. I don’t cut… but I do believe lies. I believe I’m an outcast.. I believe I’m not worthy… I believe that no one cares. It is not the cutting that we need to necessarily fight. It is the lies we choose to believe instead of believing in the truth that God is our refuge and strength. Did you know that He doesn’t just love you??? He likes you!! And He has plans for your life! He can use this pain and sadness for good. And I believe He will. Depression is hard. But Healing is possible. Allow yourself to feel happy. Not because of your circumstances but because this life is far more than what people think of us. You’re a beautiful person and you are worth more than you know. I am proud of you for not cutting and I am proud of you for being vulnerable. I will continue to pray for you. Also let me know if you would like my roommates email address. She would be happy to help.
Kelly
Hi there Kelly
Great to finally hear your voice
I also went to privite Christian school in Birmingham.
Baptist then too. Same story with self approval with the guys thing.
Something funny to tell you .. when my heart was broken by a boyfriend and I was alone I would do the strangest thing my Mom said. I would replace the boyfriend with another guy who …here I’m laughing. …who LOOKED JUST LIKE HIM
Yea that way I could finish the former relationship through this next guy.
It took the hurt and rejection away and worked all the way to my 40′s haaa.
The codependancy came from my fathers death at an early age in my life ( 6) at the developmental stage of first learning TRUST & security. That’s where little baby girls learn that issue from. The dad. That’s what I’ve been told.
When will they ( men) just learn to keep us and love us sickness warts and all? Hmmm
Had the depressant pills too after my baby born.
Had a possessive motherinlaw from the pits of —.
He was a police officer. We were to join the acadamy together.Got all prepared & wham I get el-preg-nato( pregnant) Having a police officer for a husband was a girls biggest catch. While I was in a hospital recovering from a prescription overdose mixed with over counter sleeping pills and orange crush drink from McDonalds ..hee nice twist there… he was courting a new thang. So the rest is too painful to share.
But years later in a church I heard a pastor on ” deliverance”. I went to my little apt. & went to take my anti-boo-hoo pills & I heard in my heart Juli do you trust ME
Why. Uhh huhh uh God is that You???Yes i do Lord ! “Then prove it. So i shut the drawer and didnot take the meds. The next day I woke up and was shocked..” i said “is this what it feels like to be normal…not depressed? Wow! Weeks months went by and it was a huge testimony! Thats when i knew God loved ME and was real in MY life.
So i identify with your story on all parts. God help meeee there are words below and I can’t get to them & I tried to add on and kept hitting wrong letters now I look like a freak. Please ignor them.I can’t scroll down!!!!!!!!!! To delete them now its gonna post. I am screemimg. Sorry what a way to meet somebody who’s very important!!!!!!
Maby i just should have said a short :” DITTO “..:-) po. Seee here goes my op
Sorry about that Kelly. My Panel Delete Tablet from AT& T showing off its goofs
Anyhow God got me through it all
I am a survivor..so are you..so are we
Who are more than overcomers in Christ Jesus
Just found this blog, & as the mom of a 14 year old, I’m so glad God brought me here. Thanks for sharing your stories, (both in the posts & in the comments). I’m going to pray for Heather, Kelly & every girl who is now, ever was, or will be a visitor here. This is an amazing site & I believe God has done, & will continue to do amazing things thru’ it. Philippians 1:6
Welcome Kelly
I’m so excited for what this is becoming! I can’t wait to see what God does with what you’re giving Him. Thank you so much!
Wow Kelly! It’s so crazy how as I read this I kept thinking, ‘check, check, check, I see that in my own life.’
I feel like I’ve been struggling with co-dependence on guys for years now, and VERY slowly I’ve been trying to become independent, with the grace of God, of course. I tried to become independent on my own before, convincing myself I didn’t care, but I did, and only when I owned up to my feelings and brought them to God for Him to help me have I been able to get really anywhere. I’m nowhere near being done with my co-dependence problem, but I pray for faith to believe that God won’t give up on me. I am relentless, but then again so is God, and that’s the only thing that’s keeping me trying.
Also, with not BELIEVING that God loves me unconditionally. I struggle with that too if I’m being honest with myself. I’ve been struggling, trying to earn the love of others and of God. Actually, my meditation on my quiet time reading yesterday led me to that realization. I came to God telling him this (this is from my journal): “I’m so caught up in everything I’m doing, trying to prove myself—to me, to You, to others. I think I have to prove myself, to earn love, not only from You, but from everyone else too. I just want to stop. I just want to stop trying to earn Your love. I just want to stop trying to earn the love of others. Help me rest. Help me realize that You love me regardless of what I do or don’t do. Help me live in Your love. Help me live as one who is loved unconditionally, who doesn’t need to prove anything.”
I’m so desperately trying to give it all up to God because like Paul said, “what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do” (Romans 7:14), so only He can get me out of all this.
I am so excited that we get two of you amazing women for this blog! Thank you for your vulnerability. God is healing me a lot right now and he has been using this blog to give me courage to keep going. So thank you.
Wow, thanks so much for being so open with us Kelly! There are many things you mentioned that I can defiantly relate too.
Welcome, and thanks for joining! I love this blog, and I have been sharing it with other girls like crazy! It truly is a blessing to me. I wish something like this had been around when I was in high school/college. Know that you are in my prayers. Keep it up!
Thank you for your honesty! I am so excited about the Island of We.
Hey Kelly! Its fun to hear from you! I’m glad your stepping out and doing this. I know many people will be encouraged by your story and your words of wisdom. I know God has gifted you with those! love you girl! Hope all is well.
Hey Kelly! Thank you so much for sharing your heart and soul in this endeavor. You never know how God will use your circumstance/experience to bear much fruit in the lives of others. This is a great blog, I will pass it along. I did not realize how many young girls were dealing with these types of issues until I started teaching violin about 6 years ago….after a few months with some of the high school students, they would start asking me personal questions about my life, specifically high school relationships, boys, even virginity! I was shocked in some occurances because the girls would tell me things that I knew they were not telling their own mothers. I realized that these girls were looking to confide in someone who would not pass judgement, but rather would be a listening ear, compassionate and yet at the same time willing to speak the truth! In fact, it was the truth that many of the girls were longing to hear. I really feel as though God put me in the way of some of these girls for that very reason, and I totally don’t know why, nor do I feel like I have anything worthy to say! I can only hope that God spoke through me, and that He is working in them! And that is what I hope and pray for you, that the Spirit will grieve your heart for the truth that needs to be spoken.
PS- Hope I get to see you and catch up with you one day again. Been too long! – Amber (Douglas) Vanderslice
Hello,
I don’t know if you’ll read this, but I thought I’d say it anyway. I was born in Michigan near Ann Arbor. We lived there until I was four. Now it has been ten years, but I still remember that place.
I have struggled with depression myself. My one friend that knows says I have self-esteem issues, but I don’t know. All I know is I honestly and truly hate myself. I wish I could say I put it on God and gave up my self-harm addiction, but I haven’t. I have attempted to kill myself…..but it’s never worked. I am praying God will help me out of it, and so far music has been a big help.
Listening to Tenth Avenue North has helped. I play guitar and often play their music. So I thank you for sharing your story and for your husband’s music. You have done a lot for me. I hope to continue reading this blog, and maybe someday having some confidence in myself. Music is so important to me…..
If you could pray for me, I would appreicate it so much…..I think I need to find out God’s plan for me.
God bless,
Chloe.
I’ll be praying for you. I’ve never cut myself, but that doesn’t mean that I’ve never struggled with it. I use to want to so bad….I would even pick up a knife and just stare at it, because I was too scared to. So please know that you’re not alone. Music means so much to me too….Sometimes when I’m really upset I just sit down, put both headphones in, and just cry. But slowly I’m learning that doing that doesn’t help. It’s a temporary remedy. There’s a song by David Crowder Band that always brings me to tears, it’s called Remedy. It refers to Jesus as our remedy. And he is….No one and nothing can take away this hurting in my heart. But then there’s Jesus. He’s the only one that I can turn to. Tenth Ave North has a song called Any Other Way, and when it first came out I read a little bio about why Mike wrote it, and what it meant. And it spoke so loud and clear to me. You see, even though I’ve never done drugs, MUSIC was my drug. I’m by far not saying that music is wrong. I love music so freaking much. But it can be misused. You see, in that bio, Mike talked about how God wants us to share EVERYTHING with Him; our fears, happiness, tears, struggles, joy, and sadness. And being the non-vulnerable person that I am, that scares me half to death. But I made it a desision to start sharing everything with Jesus. And let me tell you, it’s been something thats helped me SO much. I’m not perfect, and I struggle every day. But learning to share my struggles with Jesus has been both the hardest and most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I hope this helps. And I’m not here to tell you what to do, because in order to do that, I would have to have the answers…..But I don’t. So I’ll simply challenge you to share it with Jesus. He WANTS you to…He loves you. And he wants to be a part of you. He wants to replace your self harm.
Thanks….I love Any Other Way. I play and sing it a lot. When I feel down I remind myself that I’m not the only one like this. I know my parents think I’m crazy and are a bit disappointed in me…..and that really hurts. But I know Jesus went through so much more and He will help me. So I try to look up rather then drown in my bitterness.
God bless,
Chloe
Rebekah, wow, thank you so much for your reply. I know it wasn’t intended for me but….thanks. Gives me a lot to think about. God bless. <3
Chloe,
I often feel my heart break when I read stories like yours because I once was exactly to that point. I’ve had 1 suicide attempt and 1 almost attempt (a friend found out about it just before I could do anything). My friends watched helplessly as I despaired, and they could only take concrete actions when I did pose a danger to myself.
Now, nearly 2 years have passed by without a suicidal thought. I love being alive so much now. You are in what I called the “in-between” stages….where you just seem stuck. For me, I had to begin and still am on anti-depressants. They aren’t a magical pill that makes everything feel okay again (although I wish they worked that way), and it may take a long time for a person to find the right one for them. It may be that medication won’t be right for you, but I strongly encourage you to let someone know and possibly get medical help. I know that that may be the scariest thing in the world, but absolutely no one should have to go through this alone.
Also, don’t feel discouraged. I’ve never been able to permanently give up self-injuring either. I used to get very upset when I would slip up again, and that would only cause worse feelings, and I would self-injure again. Now, I know that God is giving me grace. He knows that I desperately want to give up self-injury, but I am in bondage to it. I know that He forgives me when I cut, and I need to learn to forgive myself. There’s actually a video of Mike Donehey speaking here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-fmO8DBd_A that I have often listened to whenever I am either fighting to not cut for the first time in a while or immediately after a slip-up. He speaks the truth….the audio of that may help you too in your time of great need.
Finally, I don’t know you, but I do care deeply about you. I want you to know that you are loved more than you could ever realize, and seriously, God does have a greater plan for you than you do for yourself. You never know how God is going to use these messy things. Look at Heather and Kelly, for an example. For me, I’m a year away from being a high school teacher where I know I will have students who will be going through many things that I went through. God uses the messy things to create beauty because He loves you that much. He loves you Chloe. He loves me. He loves Heather. He loves Kelly. He loves us so much that He will use these messes even if we cannot yet see how He is going to do so.
Thanks so much….I never thought I’d get replies.
Music has been my rock and will hopefully be my future. I write my own at times.
I have had several suicide attempts; but I have not tried is as much. Every time something amazing happens. One time I saw love written on the mirror when it hadn’t been there before. Another time my arm wouldn’t move as I tried to make a cut in my arm. I think God is showing me He cares and that I will get through this.
I play music every day, often several times a day. I love to sing and play music, I love to write it…..but I am asking God to show me my future.
Hopefully I will get past this.
Hey! Thank-you..it’s so good to know I’m not alone. Ever since I first heard Mike talking about how we are free to Struggle, Gods been working on me alot about that. I guess I tend to think that if I screw up, I have to start all over…I don’t know. So thank-you, I guess for a while I thought I was the only one..
I have to say, God works in mysterious ways. I was just in a huge fight with my mom, angrily ranting on Twitter, when I decided I needed a little inspiration from my musical icons page, Mike Donehey. That’s when I found the link and clicked on it. Reading this made me think of how similar a situation I was in. A lonely Catholic girl, suddenly overcome by boys saying they love her….having to choose. Your story is so inspirational, and it proves God brings the best out of what seems to be the worst.
Welcome Kelly! I’m just going to go ahead and get this out there. I use to be super, super jealous of you. Married to Mike Donehey. Silly me. I completely let lust into my heart over a married man. But, now I have my lesson learned and no longer “love” Mike. Anyways, I’m very happy you made it onto Heather’s Island of Me and can’t wait to see what you have to share!
Welcome Kelly!! Thank you for sharing a little about yourself. I love to see my email box pop up with posts and comments. Just listening to everyone share. I feel like God wants us to know that we are not alone in all of these struggles. And some days I can read through these comments and say, yeah, I have gone through that too. Or yeah, I have felt like that before. And we all have one thing in common. We delight in the love and grace our Savior has for us!! God bless you!
Beautiful… I’m so glad you have joined Heather! Your life is already inspiring me!
I’m so grateful that God has answered my prayers and that this blog has helped so many women already!
Keep up this BEAUTIFUL work!
Georgie Jamison
WOW
soon many friends here!
Hi Kelly how are you today?
Can we repost new ones on here too?
Hope so.:-) I knew this blog would branch out like a tree with many beautiful limbs in the end
You see this site is a tree planted by the waters that flow with healing life.
Its roots will grow down deep and long as it thirsts for righteousness and the healing of the waters.
Time to time this tree will go through its storms and its branches will bow and bend underneith the winds of God’s hand of change and dicipline:-)
Its fruit will go through its seasons of change & texture.
The limbs are the branches of new ministries shooting off from them.
This blog site is that tree planted by the waters and it is not just any tree.
But a tree that will produce,sprout,grow in END TIMES.
A END TIMES TREE( ministry)
AND GOD IS GOING TO DO A QUICK WORK IN THESE DAYS
Kelly pray for the spirit of discernment.. so that when The Lord shows you who is a snake sneaking in
Or a wolf in sheep’s clothing you WILL be given God’s power to look it in the eye and command it to leave with all authority in Jesus Name.
For my walk through a state park sanctuary revealed to me a scene of 3 trees I passed by.
One was slightly bent from hurricanes but still bearing fruit and its leaves were green and its branches healthy.
I walked on down the path.The next tree was upright and seemed to the eye to be okay. But as i looked closer it’s bark was molding and branches hollowing out on the insides from decay and disease.On it were a few shoots of life…The last tree completely unscathed and beautiful.
I thought why are these 3 trees so different…and upon looking at the one that looked like it had life,and even it’s fruit looked healthy but was rotten on their insides and revealing subtle signs of decay..The Lord showed me ” these 3 side by side trees represented the end time churches and ministries.
The gifts of the Spirit.
The fruits of the spirit.
May this tree be the strong one with beautiful healthy fruit and strong healthy limbs and strongbroits.
May the stream of living & healing waters near it stay pure as angels guard it’s ends
Now: May The Lord Bless you, this ministry and keep you and make His Face to shine upon you & be gracious into you
And all who will agree say: A M E N
Welcome KELLY!! It’s such a blessing that you ladies are doing this! I’m somewhat older than the crowd that’s mainly on here (43), but my story is still the same. Went through much of what you ladies have, and now God is allowing me to also speak, help, lead girls in the way in which I SHOULD have gone! This is an encouragement for so many, and it is SO needed!
I have started a devotion for girls at my daughter’s school. Even thought it is is Christian school there are so many girls who are struggling with their identities in Christ – and they have no idea that that’s even their struggle. They try to hard to Be the best, dress the best, perform the best, act the best…they’re human doings instead of human beings! I’m trying to reach them with TAN’s message of it’s not what you have done, or not who you are, but who HE is, and what HE has done that matters.
Would love to have an opportunity for one or both of you ladies to come speak at a Chapel service just for girls sometime this coming school year. We’re only about an hour and a half south of Nashville (Huntsville, AL). We would of course pay your expenses and do what we can as far as a love offering. Not sure if you have a set fee for that kind of thing, or if you’ve even thought about it. But I thought I’d give it a try – can’t hurt to ask!
Thanks again for your willingness to take off your masks for Christ’s sake, and to be yourselves so that many can come to know Him through your stories! I’m praying for you and support you on your mission!
Rachel Rutledge, Huntsville Alabama
hi kelly i have a question what is your two daughters names?
Eisley and Nora
I dont feel alone any more thanks to you, I too have the same struggle of depression from a guy I dated my sophomore year and seeked for help here and its working so thank you guys. May God bless You
I love this blog. I also love tenth avenue north…they’re my favorite band!! Tell your husband that, Kk? Anyway I have struggled with alot of things and reading about others really helps to life me up. Thanks
Love this post! I had the same “addiction” to guys, only I married mine, and stayed married 18 years. By the end of the marriage, I knew every fault I had, knew every thing that I could not do and everything I was not capable of doing, he made sure I never forgot a single bad thing about myself. On anti-depressants, anxiety medication and having to take sleeping pills I decided that the fear of not making it on my own, paled in comparison to the fear that I would have to continue living my life only seeing the bad things I had to offer. I have been on my own for 7 months now and I am finially starting see the good things I have to offer, the faults are still there but they are things I work on not focus on as defining me as a person. I have 2 teenage daughters and my prayer for them now is that they will use my marriage to thier father as a roadmap of sorts to show them what they should not have to live with, to show them that you can love someone but still have the peace of mind to know they are not who you are supposed to be with. Thankfully God has taken my desire to have someone, I have my moments that I miss the companionship and get lonely but as whole I am loving this time to work on my relationship with him and my kids. I can’t find someone if I am only looking for someone to make me happy or complete me, those are things I have to do through God, and once I have done this he will show me the person that will simply add happiness to my life not be the sole source of it
I know this is late, but I want to welcome you aboard and look forward to getting to know you. I want to thank you for such an honest look into your life. I have felt the same way for most of my life. I turned to guys for my self worth and my happiness. I needed guys to notice me and “love” me in order to feel complete or even human. I eventually married a man who I looked to to feel good enough and all he made me feel was ugly, unlovable and believe I could never be good enough. He made me feel as low as another human could make you feel by using me, cheating on me and walking out on me more times than I can count. I spent more of my marriage miserable than I did happy. I chased after him and begged him to stay even when he was wrong, believing I would be nothing without him. After years of depression and feeling like nothing would ever change, I cried out to God to show me what to do. Thankfully, God provided a way for me to get out and started me on a road that led me to a relationship with Him that I never thought was possible. I am now a single mom raising five boys and praying God will help me to raise them to be the men of God that He wants them to be. I still struggle with my self worth and feeling like I’m good enough and falling into the trap of believing what I see is who I am instead of believing what God sees is who I am. Praise God that He never gives up on us.
hi kelly! im not a virgin anymore and it’s really really hard for me to have self worth. i feel like im a soiled dove and impure and i cryyy everytime i hear “oh my dear”. and i saw the youtube video where mike talks about the day you told him something you thought he would not look at you the same way again. and i cryyy because i feel so sad for my future guy..that he would not look at me the same way. like i cant give him a gift he deserves. and i keep telling myself God has forgiven me and God loves me and im a new creation now but it’s so hard to do. im repenting soo much..and because of that song..i know im not alone of feeling so so ashamed. but its really hard for me because a good Christian man that i would wanna meet and marry..deserves someone who’s also a good Christian woman and im not. the one thing i was supposed to share only with my husband i have given away
im not sure u would understand about the sexual sin but it really makes me feel dirty. please pray for me 