May 31, 2012 by agirlikemee
This is another one of those posts where I simply don’t know where to begin. So instead of trying to be clever or give you some really witty story, I’m just going to blurt it out. This blog may seriously be the death of me.
You see, when I asked God to allow me to start this blog I naively thought that it would never reach as vast of an amount of people as it already has. I never thought that my story would be used by God in such a way to touch as many of you as it has. And although it has been one of the greatest blessings in my life in a very long time, it is slowly eating away at my heart. And as each day passess, I find myself more and more consumed with the reality that it is heading into a place that is quickly becoming way too much for me.
One of my main goals when starting this journey was to make a point that, as best as I could, I wanted to be intentional with all you. By that I mean, replying to some of your comments, returning your emails, and answering your questions. My heart was/is to let you know that I am not just some girl droning on and on about her life and never really engaging with you. And up until recently, I had been doing fairly well. But then more and more emails came and more comments were being posted and more stories were being shared and more questions were asked and I couldn’t keep up. And I got so overwhelmed that I didn’t know what to do next.
The problem is, like a lot of us, I suck at asking for help. I often choose to live my life on the Island of Me roaming around in the Land of Control. Because on the Island of Me and in the Land of Control I know exactly what to expect and when to expect it. I know what is going to happen and how it will take place. I am safe there and safe feels so very good. So by allowing someone in to my little haven feels like I’m setting fire to my island without a raft to escape on. Extreme, I know, but true nonetheless.
In the last few days I have really been asking God to show me how to alleviate some of this weight I have been feeling. And like God often does, His answer was the most difficult one to execute. You see, I felt God telling me that in order to prevent me from shutting down from the responsibility of handling this on my own, I had to have help. I had to let someone on to my island. I had to release control and let God do His work by me letting someone in. And so I have.
Ladies, starting next month (so technically tomorrow), A Girl Like Me will now be represented by TWO ladies. I will still be writing posts and answering emails and comments and questions, but now I have a partner to do it with. Her name is Kelly, and she is Mike’s (in our band) wife. She, like myself, aches for truth and honesty and desperately desires for us as women to find healing and freedom and the unfathomable love that Jesus can give. She will be writing posts and answering emails and questions and comments right here with me. And so the Island of Me has now become the Island of We.
It’s funny how even now as I share this with you, my body tenses and my pulse begins to race as the thought of relinquishing control sets in. But the beauty of it is that the less I hold on to, the more Christ can move. So no matter how difficult it may feel, I know that God has something bigger, bigger than I can see from my little tiny island.
So the journey is not over ladies- in fact, I feel like we are just getting started. And maybe, like me, you can begin to expand your borders as well and start letting people in on your island.