The Island of Me to The Island of We
21May 31, 2012 by agirlikemee
This is another one of those posts where I simply don’t know where to begin. So instead of trying to be clever or give you some really witty story, I’m just going to blurt it out. This blog may seriously be the death of me.
You see, when I asked God to allow me to start this blog I naively thought that it would never reach as vast of an amount of people as it already has. I never thought that my story would be used by God in such a way to touch as many of you as it has. And although it has been one of the greatest blessings in my life in a very long time, it is slowly eating away at my heart. And as each day passess, I find myself more and more consumed with the reality that it is heading into a place that is quickly becoming way too much for me.
One of my main goals when starting this journey was to make a point that, as best as I could, I wanted to be intentional with all you. By that I mean, replying to some of your comments, returning your emails, and answering your questions. My heart was/is to let you know that I am not just some girl droning on and on about her life and never really engaging with you. And up until recently, I had been doing fairly well. But then more and more emails came and more comments were being posted and more stories were being shared and more questions were asked and I couldn’t keep up. And I got so overwhelmed that I didn’t know what to do next.
The problem is, like a lot of us, I suck at asking for help. I often choose to live my life on the Island of Me roaming around in the Land of Control. Because on the Island of Me and in the Land of Control I know exactly what to expect and when to expect it. I know what is going to happen and how it will take place. I am safe there and safe feels so very good. So by allowing someone in to my little haven feels like I’m setting fire to my island without a raft to escape on. Extreme, I know, but true nonetheless.
In the last few days I have really been asking God to show me how to alleviate some of this weight I have been feeling. And like God often does, His answer was the most difficult one to execute. You see, I felt God telling me that in order to prevent me from shutting down from the responsibility of handling this on my own, I had to have help. I had to let someone on to my island. I had to release control and let God do His work by me letting someone in. And so I have.
Ladies, starting next month (so technically tomorrow), A Girl Like Me will now be represented by TWO ladies. I will still be writing posts and answering emails and comments and questions, but now I have a partner to do it with. Her name is Kelly, and she is Mike’s (in our band) wife. She, like myself, aches for truth and honesty and desperately desires for us as women to find healing and freedom and the unfathomable love that Jesus can give. She will be writing posts and answering emails and questions and comments right here with me. And so the Island of Me has now become the Island of We.
It’s funny how even now as I share this with you, my body tenses and my pulse begins to race as the thought of relinquishing control sets in. But the beauty of it is that the less I hold on to, the more Christ can move. So no matter how difficult it may feel, I know that God has something bigger, bigger than I can see from my little tiny island.
So the journey is not over ladies- in fact, I feel like we are just getting started. And maybe, like me, you can begin to expand your borders as well and start letting people in on your island.
Points of Reflection: John 3:30 Galatians 6:2 1 Corinthians 12:24b-26
wow Heather! This is actually similar to what I’ve read in my quiet time book today! There was a quote from Phillips Brooks, “We never become truly spritual by sitting down and wishing to become so. You must undertake something so great that you cannot accomplish it unaided.” The context there is the Holy Spirit helping you in life, but He often uses other people, so I just thought that was quite cool. Thanks again for this ministry =) May the Lord give you strength and hope for each new day
Woha your name is Talitha 2? I just posted and the page refreshed with a comment from you above me! That’s crazy. such an uncommon name!
Oh Heather, you have been so strong but yes it must be overwhelming having so much response to your blog. It will be awesome to have another person on board to share with and hear from. Hi Kelly and welcome aboard. Wow it’s hard for me to say that name (was the name of my ex), but I think I will have to get used to it.
That’s awesome! Great example of letting go and letting God. Praying for you two as you work together on this blog. It’s so honest, and I can tell it’s from your heart and God-inspired. I love it, and it definitely helps me to see even the wives of big time Christian artists still struggle. You guys are awesome!
I love your honesty and totally get how hard it is to let lose of the controls!! It can feel like failure to someone who needs to be in control. However, I see it as a great accomplishment to let go of those reigns and get the help and support you might need so that you can continue doing what it is you feel God is leading you to do. I find it very hard to help others when my heart feels weighted down by all that I think I need to do. We are not on this Earth to function alone as one person but to live for one and that is our Lord Jesus Christ. I am new to this site and you have already inspired several times with your honesty and openness!! God bless!!
I need to learn this lesson too. Lately I have been thinking that I need to share myself more with others so I can have deeper more meaningful relationships with them. I just am such an inward person that it is hard for me to let other people in. Not that I don’t want to of course. I yearn for the relationships and am just realizing that I need to be more deliberate on my end. Thanks for the encouragement that we all need help sometimes and it’s alright to admit that.
I think it’s awesome that you’ll have her to help you! In fact I was just thinking the other day that I didn’t know how in the world you could do it all, with having a kid and just being a mommy and wife. =) I look up to both of you SO much..I can’t wait to read some stuff from Kelly!! Because I can’t follow her on Twitter or Instigram, I don’t really hear a lot about her. I love that you want to interact with us, you have no idea how much that means to me. A lot of times I don’t feel like I can talk to the people I know, but knowing that you’re here to listen is so encouraging. Kinda like having someone to disciple you via Internet! =) I’ve loved reading this Blog so much and it’s been helping me in so many ways. I’ve needed something like this for so long. Thank-you so much for all the work you put into this, I know it has to be a lot of effort. I’ve been trying to follow your advice, and I’ve had “I am more than what I see” written on my mirror for 20 days….Also, I don’t really want to tell you what to write about because I think you’ve been doing a FABULOUS job so far! But, one thing that I know I struggle with is self-worth. Especially due to expectations coming from others. It’s so hard for me to love myself, and feel worth anything when I don’t feel like I’m living up to their expectations OR my expectations. I think self-esteem has always been something that I have struggled with, but especially here of late. I guess I don’t feel like I’m special. I know that sounds really really immature, but like I don’t feel like I have any special niches or talents. I don’t know, I guess I just don’t feel like I have anything that God could use…I guess I’d welcome any advice on dealing with that. Hopefully me mumbo-jumbo makes sense..Thanks again!!!
I just had to reply to your comment because you say you are not special. I’m sure you’ve heard it all before: God made to special. He lovehad you verythe much. He made you just as he intended. It’s the all true! You don’t have to be a track star, or valedictorian, or have some huge talent that surpasses all others to be special. It could just be your personality, how you care for others, being a good listener, being a positive influence to someone. Simple things. Hugely important things! Yup, you are special. Love yourself!
Actually Rebekah, i struggle with exactly the same thing. So that thought is definatly not immature because i think many girls struggle with that. Its a typical girl insecurity actually. Because i’m sure if i were to meet you I would think of what a beautiful, God inspired creation you are. Trust me i know how hard it is to believe that because i know when i look around me i see all the talents God gave to His children and then i look at myself and think “Am I missing something?” I’m extremely shy and quiet, i have trouble opening up and being myself around people, and the typical stuff like i’m not a great athlete or a singer or whatever. But what i’ve learned is even though it doesn’t seem like it now God can use whoever. (read Hebrews 11) Even if its just little things, they all make an impact for His kingdom. And even the bigger things. God has been showing me lately that Hes calling me to be a missionary. At first i thought either i or God was crazy because this made no sense to me. Like i said i’m awkward with words and i’ve never been the most outgoing person in the world. But He keeps reaffirming it again and again and somehow i’m begining to see myself being it to. If God can use me like that in my future He definatly can in yours. And when He finnally gets you to where you need to be you’ll be the perfect one to do it because no one will see it coming from you. You’ll be perfect for the role He already has picked out for you because since you at first seemed so unqualified for that role it will be even more obvious that HE was the one who got you there. Not you cause you’ll never be able to get there yourself. Plus it’ll show others just how amazing Gods power is when they see you doing the incredible things He already has chosen that you’ll do. Hope that made sense and that it helped! I’ll be keeping you in my prayers!
Thanks, Ellen!! I just saw your comment, and it was so encouraging! Thanks again! Jesus has been teaching me a lot about that lately.
I’ve just recently started an interest in blogging. I can say that by you sharing this and from reading your other blogs, I’ve come to realize just how blogging is such an important ministry. And just as any other ministry, it comes with its trials. Your feelings of the Island of Me on the Island of Control are so unspoken yet very common. It totally takes humility to admit your struggle…which is really our struggle too. I really love you for being so transparent in your writing. Thank you for continuing your love for us as you and Kelly keep this ministry going and thriving! hugs <3
Oh wow, I can’t believe how Gods speaks to us through other people. It always seems that I hear what I need for the day always pops up via blog twitter Facebook etc. I was just wondering the other day… what do the other wives think of Heather’s Blog I wonder if they are helping her too? Oh I’d love to hear from Mike’s wife. I’ve tried to encourage my youth group girls to follow your blog. Especially since I don’t have the answers to all their questions (if they’d ask questions)
God bless you sister. Your posts are such an encouragement to me. May your ministry flourish for God’s glory.
And here’s a warm welcome to Kelly.
By the way just letting you know I’m from Kerala, India. So, may God continue to use you’ll mightily to let His love known from one end of the Earth to the other
YAY! I look forward to it! Good job Heather!
Reblogged this on St. Mark's Quiet Time and commented:
Letting go and letting God is critical. See how Heather has applied this in her own life!
Heather, I think what you’re doing is awesome. It takes a lot to trust in God and to trust in people. Relinquishing control is something that takes courage and a lot of faith.
I found your blog thanks to your husband posting on Tenth Avenue North’s–or “TAN”, as I like to call them–facebook page. I like how God has been speaking through you to me simply by speaking to you. It’s amazed me that we have so much in common with our struggles, but it reminds me, too, that we all struggle with the same things. Though our stories may be different, our problems are the same.
Thank you for having the integrity to stick to this, despite the challenge, and letting your Island of Me become an Island of We, so that God can continue to enlighten and bless us readers. ♥
I totally understand. When I try to talk about some of my past to people, I get so nervous that they are going to judge me and hate me for what I’ve done. And yes, I HATE asking for help. I’m home schooled and I hate asking my mom with something I need help on. I’m very independent and I just want to do things MY way. I’m on that Island of Me. I’m very hard on myself, too. If I do something wrong, I just won’t let it go! If I do one tiny thing wrong in school or don’t know something, I get so frustrated because I should know that. I should say, I get TOO frustrated. Okay, anyways, went off topic there! But, it’ll be fun to see what Kelly has to say! Thanks for sharing!
I’m so bad with asking for help… And I’m very good at giving myself a lot of work to do. Thanks for the encouragement with this post and your entire blog!! I’m praying for both you and Kelly!!
Totally stoked for what God has in store! Thank you, Heather and Kelly, for loving God and allowing Him to take control and reach all of us. It is much, much appreciated
How exciting! Proud and in awe of the steps you’re taking to reach out to these girls
Hey Dear Sweet Heather it’s me.
THE ISLAND OF ME HAS BECOME THE ISLAND OF WE
DID YOU MAKE THAT SAYING UP?
It is SoOo beautiful!!!!!!!!!
This is my #1 issue too. You see all
of my life I’ve been on this island of mine.
Alone and afraid to trust. Especially if the enemy sneaks in stealthily & throws a monkey wrench in there.
Yes Remember Moses finally had a powow with his folk & they too decided with prayer to seek help for Moses with all those people in the desert.
I’m still on my island with my survival gear and sunburn. The mosquitos of life biting me and the lies of the enemy.
People in the numerous churches over the past 15-20 years hurt me worse than folk did in the world. Somehow I expected them in churches to be sensitive and tender hearted. A few along the way were. I mean FEW.
Now I am older but still have the youthfulness of a 16 yr.old
My father died in a car crash when I was 6.Before this they were going through a divorce. Alot of yelling & fights. So most of those years were spent in my room crying & terrified.
I learned at a early age not to trust. Before age 6 I spent alot of time in my crib and then little bed…yep..alone.
My mom had moodswings worse than a earthquake,so walking on eggs became one of my specialties
Then came the teenage years. Of which she did not tell me what was happening to my body and I had the horror of findinding out in a classroom in front of all the others. Yes.. my period. And it showed and I was picked on and laughed at.
That rolled over like a turd in a punch bowl
So enter in dating years. Everything was learn as u go.
All went well til date nite came and well u know boyfriends tend to have RUSSIAN hands and ROMAN fingers and well… the socks came rolling out and so did the laughter and so did the gossip that followed. 
has
Me and my best friend had to be creative and redisign our bra size by stuffing socks in our bras. Yep we suddenly sprouted overnight
On through life its been a shove closer and closer to that island of me.
Painful and betraying expirences launched me on in to my Island complete with all the skills to survive
So… I can painfully identify. I learned that girls stealing my boyfriends away was one more shove to the island. Then as a 27 yr. Old woman I learned when men can’t tolerate a sickly woman they find someone else and feel that out then when they feel ready to jump ship with her then next shove me out of the boat :@/
So I’ve been an island of one for these and many other reasons. It hurts when women lust after your husband and hurts even worse when he lusts at them. So when i see all these teen girls lusting after married men I minister to them to warn gently to them that it is adultry. Jesus said if we even look upon a woman or ( man to lust after them we’ve already committed adultry with them in our hearts. OUCH!
SO THIS IS ONE BIG ISSUE THAT DESTROYS MARRIAGES and I am a victim of it which also threw me onto my island of me.
Another is people who are into satinism,occult..etc…and knowingly do it to the Christians and churches and ministries. This too drives me deeper into my island of me.
BEWARE … especially at the beginning of a ministry or church function…they are charasmatic smart funny etc… but can do alot of harm in the body of baby Christians coming in.
I haven’t yet learned to come off my island of me. So hopefully reading these I can.. but trust a human.. noo. The bible says not to put our trust in man ( flesh or people), but only in God. Even well meaning friends and even our ownselves can let us down
So seek God and get the gift of discernment. These last days we need that.
If Jesus had a Judus how much more so will we?
You two look after each other.And God watch over you both,as you help a sea of hurting girls and women.
Us older women can offer a wealth of expireince
Thank you… for sharing this story ” my island of me has become my Island of we.
God bless you.
Please excuse the typos errors. This tablet as I type jumps all around so if u find xtra words floating at the bottom,forgive them..uhhh me
they shive me out of the boat