April 29, 2012 by agirlikemee
“Hi, my name is Heather and I am not who you think I am.”
If there was ever a twelve step recovery program for being a phony, I think this would be my opening line. I ‘ve often said this phrase to myself time and time again in my head, but the truths that follow the thought were always much too terrifying to ever really admit to out loud. Why is that you think?
From the time we were born, society (and especially our churches) have told us what we as girls are and are not supposed to be. We are told what sins are the “girl” sins and then thrown some vague, self-righteous step by step guide as to how to “fix” the situation when the sin may possibly arise. We are never greeted with grace and redemption, but rather a list of no-nos that leave us feeling like failures- ashamed and alone.
And that is what leads me here today. If I have learned anything in my meager thirty years on this earth, it is that I am a flawed human, capable of evil that would make the hairs stand on people’s necks if they knew about it. But no one does know about it. Why, you ask? Because a girl like me should never do, feel, think or act the way that I am sometimes inclined to. And so I am left with only two options: share my struggles with the world and be cast out of the Good Christian Girl Club, or cover it all up and lead a sham of a life so I don’t feel the sting of judgement and rejection. Boy, decisions decisions.
But that’s about to change my dear friends. Today, starting now, there is no more hiding. No more believing the lie that our sin is something to cower away from. No more believing that our sins are too great for others to not relate to and our God to not forgive. I am choosing to believe that there is hope and freedom and redemption in the sharing of life and hurt and truth. And I am asking you to take this journey with me.
A girl like me and you, we have a story to share. We have pain and wounds and a longing to feel that we are not alone in this world. We so desperately want to share our life, but the fear of what others may think of us cripples us into silence. All it takes is for one voice to rise up, to tell us that it is ok and then we are set free. And this is that place.
Dear girl, I don’t know where you are, but as time goes on, I hope we’ll get to know each other. And as you read, you will see that a girl like me and a girl like you, well, we aren’t so different from each other. And maybe, just maybe, we can find some hope for our pain and a chance to embrace the grace that God so lovingly gives. So the question is…..will you join me?